Maybe?

So I just made a photography blog in hopes to transfer over my photoshoots from this blog over to the new one...which will clear up TONS of room for me to post more pictures of my crazy life!!! 

I really hope this works!! 

Cross your fingers!!

icky...

the weather outstide is a good representation of how my heart is feeling on the inside....

completely icky and gloomy.

but in-spite of the cause, I have learned a very valuable lesson...
{ a lesson I have always known to be true...but this solidified it greatly }

my family members are {literally} my best friends.

even when they are crazy.
even when it seems they don't care.
even when they are smothering and curious.
even when they don't agree.

friends come and go...unfortunately...

but my family is forever....thankfully!

Young Victoria

I just saw the most amazing movie.  YOUNG VICTORIA.  Ah-mazing!  If you have not seen it...stop whatever you're doing...and watch it.  (Ok, maybe just find a time when you want to watch an inspirational/true/incredibly-tender love story.)  I never knew the story of Queen Victoria...the woman they named the "Victorian Era" after.  If an entire era is named after this woman, that must make her a pretty big deal.  She was smart, stubborn, friendly, and caring.  She is a new heroine of mine.  (And I will most likely name my future daughter after her...haha I have always loved that name!)  The movie is based on a true story...and the most beautiful love story I know.  True, real, non-hollywood, selfless, love.  (It might make you crave to be married....or want to express more love to your one-and-only....I definitely fall in the first category.....I guess I can curb the craving for another year and a half!  Chile, here I come!!)

Just thought I would share that before going to bed!  :)

Night!

PROBLEMO...

Well I went to write a lovely post about my fabulous weekend....when blogger reminded me that I have run out of picture space...is that even possible?!  Have any of you faced this problem?? Did you pay the extra money for more space?  I am leaving in 5 weeks...so I think I should wait till I get back....but that is 5 weeks of visual un-documentation of my life!  What to do...what to do?! It's 5 dollars a year.....is that an on-going-for-the-rest-of-my-life type of deal?  I need some input!  I've got some great pictures just waiting to be uploaded.  I have decided posting pictures on my blog is a lot more satisfying that posting them on facebook.  I feel like facebook is for more public events....but my blog is for me.  It is so I don't forget my life.  It's more personal, and I love it.  

...I guess that is worth the 5 dollars...right?

the UGLY truth.

no not the movie....
my face.
particularly my EYELIDS.
they are driving me nuts!

...I think I am allergic to my eye shadow...

it is pretty old...so it makes sense...but still!

how does that even happen?

well one day I decide to use a shade in the pallet that I haven't used before.
to my surprise, I LOVED it!
...the next day I woke up and my eyelids had blown up to the size of "slugs"...(thank you Kristie)
(this was the UGLY truth.)

I had washed my make-up off that night...just like I do every night...
I thought it might be an eye infection...I was getting sick, so I thought this was just another symptom.
I thought it might be eczema. (dry, itchy, cracking skin...sounded about right.)
I did not think it was an allergic reaction.

so I decided to test it out.
I wore no eye shadow for a week. (but the irritation caused my eyelids to be permanently pink!)
low and behold...my symptoms went away!
my eyes were healing (with the help of tons and tons of lotion!)

so yesterday, in all of my brilliance, I decided to try that same shade of eye shadow again,
just to really  see if it was, in fact, the cause of my eyelid disformaty!
 ...about half-way through my night (playing chess up the canyon with Justin)
my eyelids started burning....itching...and felt crusty....oh no!
I came home, took off my make up and quickly applied my healing lotion before going to bed.

this morning I woke up, and with difficulty, opened my eyes.
as I looked in the mirror...there in their rightful place...were the two slugs...right where my eyelids were supposed to be.

never again. 

here's to another week of healing.
don't worry...I think I learned my lesson last time...
my trashcan is now the happy home to that awful (but so freaking cute) shade of eyeshadow.

to you readers, today you can count your blessings:
*"I have healthy, non-crusty-itchy-burning-permanently pink-eyelids. Oh how I am blessed!"

hope you have a great weekend!!!

Gods Plan for Me

I have always loved to be in charge.

I love feeling necessary, intelligent, creative, fun, and important.

I have always known that I am not the only one who is in charge of my life. 

I began my relationship with my Father in Heaven long before I can even remember.  If I counted how many times I said silent prayers to Him on a daily basis....it would definitely beat out anyone's amount of texts or phone calls for the day. 

I am sure many people feel this way...but I hate making mistakes.  I hate doing things wrong.  I have always wanted to live a perfect life.   (I remember growing up I would always pretend that I was perfect.  I tried to show that I was *always happy.  Nothing was *ever wrong.  But since growing up, I know that having emotions other than happiness is not wrong.  It's OK to let people know that you are struggling, having a hard day, or that you are discouraged.  That is normal.  In fact, it is healthy to be real with your emotions!  That little fact has done more for me than anyone can imagine!)

But back to "being in charge," and wanting to be "perfect."  I am a very couscous, and careful planner. I want to make sure that my decisions are correct, and that they are the *best (good, better, best) thing for me to do. 

I decided that having two jobs during these months while I prepare to serve a mission would be the best thing for me to do.  It would keep me busy and allow the time to pass quicker.  I could have a fun social life and make lots more friends.  I would have enough money to pay off my braces.  But the biggest reason I was working two jobs was so that I could pay as much as possible for my mission.

I was blessed with 2 amazing jobs that I loved.  I looked forward to going to work everyday.  I loved the people I worked with.  I loved the difference I was making.  But my body began to tell me otherwise... 

My daily schedule looked just like this:

*6:30-7:00, Wake up, get ready.

*8:00, Out the door, be at work by 8:30.

*8:30-4:00, Work at the Elementary School

*4:15-5:15, Come home, make myself dinner, get ready for work.

*5:30, Out the door, be at work by 5:45.

*5:45-10:30, Work at second job.

*11:00-12:00, Come home, short work out, get ready for bed, read scriptures, write in journal, say prayers, get in bed.

I don't know if you noticed how often I was home, compared to how often I was gone.  I had ONE HOUR to myself everyday...and even then I was always rushing to get things done.  This began to be very draining.  I wanted to sit down and really read a book.  I wanted to have dinner with my family.  I wanted to go to the temple.  I wanted to see my friends.  I began to do the bare minimum so that I could save my energy for the next day.  I was sick and tired of it.  My body got sick, and I began to panic.

My loving parents scheduled an interview with my Bishop.  I wasn't sure what it was for exactly, but we all got in the car and went to his office.  We started talking about missionary stuff.  All of the sudden my dad tells Bishop about my schedule...and I unexpectedly broke into tears.  He told him how I had mono a few years ago and was scared that if I kept working myself to death, that my body wouldn't be able to handle it and get sick again. 

My amazing Bishop looked me in the eyes and told me that I needed to cut back.  Being busy and working all day was not the answer.  He didn't want me to burn out before I even got to the MTC.  He strongly advised me to work only one job, spend time with my family, go to the temple, study the scriptures, and spend time with friends. The money would come. I am in the Lords hands.

I went home and immediately emailed my wonderful boss and explained the situation.  She lovingly responded and told me she understood and that all is well.  A huge burden was lifted from my shoulders.  I felt like I could breathe for the first time in months.  Not only breathe...but I wanted to dance!!!  I was soooo happy!!!!  I was amazed at how happy I was!!! (We even went out for a celebratory dinner!! haha)

Here was a prime example of my plan failing, and Gods plan being a blessing from on high.  I thought I was dong the right thing....as hard as it was.  I thought it would be selfish of me to quit my second job.  I was doing what I thought was best.  But I was so wrong.  I was too busy.  The Lord needed me.

I still have no idea how I am going to make ends meet, but I am not afraid.  When God asks us to do something, He always provides a way for it to be done (1 Nephi 3:7).  

5 weeks and 6 days until I leave for the Missionary Training Center.  I couldn't be more excited.  I have no fear.  How could I?  I know the Lord is with me and is CLEARLY watching out for me.  I know He has a plan for my life...and  it is far better than my own.

the reality of today.

I am sitting with my 6th graders today, when my stomach loudly reminds me that I didn't feed her this morning.  I told her to hang in there till lunch....

Lunch time finally came!  I quickly got back to my desk, opened my storage cabinet...intending to find my lovely home-packed lunch.  But the reality of my mistake made my tummy growl.  I LEFT IT AT HOME!!!

What's a girl to do?

A. Eat the skittles you bought for your students in the after-school program.

B. Eat the microwave popcorn that's in the cupboard. 

C. Eat the last Krispy Kreme doughnut in the box on the faculty table.

D. All of the above.

To my dismay....I selected D.

hahaha Oh my goodness.  Has anyone has a sugar headache before??  Skittles, popcorn (movie theater butter style), and a warm glazed doughnut for my lunch....Yes, I am training to be the next contestant on the Biggest Loser.  Feel free to tune in next season! ;)

I think my stomach was more angry with me after I ate, than she would have been if I would have let her starve for a few more hours.  Lesson learned!!

P.S. Don't worry....I saved some skittles for my after-school students. :) haha